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Man O' War
Background Host: "And welcome back to Argus News in the evening. Tonight, we have an incredibly interesting guest. Moira Guerra is one of the many volunteers for the Syndicate's '"Man O' War"' Cyborg model, and one of the most celebrated at her highly classified job. She has agreed to an exclusive interview with us, Moira, are you there?" Moira: "Hear you loud and clear!" Host: "For those viewers who are not familiar with the Man O' War, why don't you give an overview?" Moira: "Basically, it's exactly as it sounds. You sign a paper, go under the knife, and wake up as a freaking jellyfish!" Host: "I see, so what prompted this decision on your part?" Moira: "I was injured in an accident and became a paraplegic. So there I was, waiting in hospital, paying through the nose for treatment, when a bunch of suits come in and offer to not only pay for treatment, but give me cybernetics for FREE, and a high paying, high prestige job. You'd have to be crazy to turn an offer like that down, and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made!" Host: "So you would recommend this procedure?" Moira: "You're kidding, right? Before, I was some nobody in a factory in Satellite City . Now, I get higher pay than I could have ever dreamed of, and for a great job; go to new places, meet new people, kill new enemies. You ever been in a gang war? Imagine it's like that, but they don't notice you, and you get paid for each kill. Me and my, uh, ''"co-workers" have contests to see who can have the most unusual kill."'' Host: "But what about your jellyfish form, is that a plus as well?" Moira: "You know when you're a kid, and you're scared of the monsters in the water? I'M one of those monsters! Seriously, living underwater is awesome; you get food for free by snatching fish, I'm functionally immortal with my implants, and I can put on one hell of a light show!" Host: "Lights?" Moira: "Yeah, lights. You ever seen a documentary where those sea creatures shine some pretty colour, and the Allied (CENSORED!) on it is all ''"Oh, wow, it can turn blue, a bloo bloo bloo!" Yawn. I can do that in my sleep! Seriously, the lighting costs extra, but I can outshine any fish in the ocean. You should see the reactions you can get. You know that contest I mentioned? Luigi won for a couple of weeks by sneaking up to some idiot diver, suddenly flashing every colour as quickly as he could, and chasing the diver into his boat's propeller. Ha!"'' Host: "So, where do you live with such a radically different form?" Moira: "Me, personally? The Venice Sprawl. Seriously, I never thought I'd even SEE Venice, let alone live there! When I'm not on missions I get to patrol there. I don't even need to sleep, I paid for implants that let parts of my brain sleep at different times, so I can stay awake and do whatever I want ALL THE TIME!" Host: "You mentioned cost, how much would this procedure cost?" Moira: "If you're paraplegic, it's free. For other people it depends, but you can find out at pretty much any cybernetics branch. I would recommend you shell out for extras though. The lights and sleep thing I mentioned, but you can also get an AURA uplink directly to your brain or an injection site if you're a drug user." Host: "So you would recommend this process to anyone interested?" Moira: "Absolutely!" Host: "And to finish, what did your family and friends think of this decision?" Moira: "My what now?" Host: "So there you have it, Moira Guerra; soldier, cyborg, jellyfish. Stay tuned for our expose on the latest gang violence in Rome." Category:Units